Protecting Young Children in Time of War

P. Donohue Shortridge/Children/Protecting Young Children in Time of War
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Protecting Young Children in Time of War

     Dear Parents:

     The war is here and you want to protect your children. Young children are especially sensitive to disturbing events because they feel the effects just like we do, but they do not yet possess the cognitive and emotional capacity to understand what is happening.

     Here are some suggestions that will help your children, especially those under six years old:

     o Keep a family routine. The most upsetting disruption to young children is chaos and uncertainty. Keep life simple and predictable. Music and singing will not only sooth your children, but will lower your stress level as well. A walk in nature together will remind all that life is beautiful.

     o Do not watch television news in the presence of your young children. The news is not good, and therefore it is appropriate viewing only for adults and, sparingly, for some older children. The urgency of the voices, the swelling music and the visuals of bombing and destruction are confusing and upsetting to young children because they think it is happening right now and right here. (Even babies and toddlers take in these sounds and images.) Beware of the visually disturbing news alerts during regular programming. This may be a good time to revisit your policy on television in your home, generally. You'll likely want to know what is going on with the war, yet if television is a habit in your house, you may turn it on automatically. It might be hard to change this habit, but doing so will shelter your young child from confusion and distress. Record your favorite news show and watch it after the children are in bed.

     o Radio news is also disturbing because the words are out-of-context and the child fills in the gaps with his own magical thinking. Play a music tape instead.

     o Newspapers and magazines with lurid headlines and pictures should also be kept out-of-sight of children. Simply turn the pictures facedown on the table.

     o Refrain from adult discussions of the war in front of your children. Ask older children, relatives and visitors to wait till the younger children are not present. Refrain from placing your child in a situation you cannot control. Become aware of your telephone conversations that might be overheard. Remember that your child takes in everything he hears and sees whether he understands it or not. You are not being rude to people when you protect your children. You can simply say to anyone who brings up the subject of war in the presence of your child, "I'd like to discuss this with you, but I'd prefer we wait till later."

     o Become conscious of your own mood. Your tension and anxiety will immediately transfer to your children. It is natural that you are upset by the war, but consider that your child takes his emotional cues from you. Regardless of whether or not we are in immediate danger here in America, remember that children always live in the here-and-now. The war is not their concern. We can preserve their sense of security by defending their freedom to be children. We help them most by exuding a calm, nurturing attitude. Deep breathing, good nutrition and simple routines will boost your stamina and even-temperedness to enable you to be present for your children, and that comes first.

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